Sunday, August 10, 2014

Stress free lifestyle

It has been weeks since I did write an entry in this blog. It was mainly because of procrastination. Anyhow, I'll get straight to the point, not like my other entries.

I want to know what causing me stress in my daily life, and what reduces it and makes my mind clear.

Stress triggers:
  • Doing house chores in a busy restless way.
  • Staying between four walls for extended periods of time.
  • Procrastination. I procrastinate to be temporary stress free, but later in the day, I find myself with a lot of to-dos.
  • Not having a pattern, or standard stress free rituals.
I should seriously change my life style.

Stress free activities (Activities that brings mindfulness and awaraness):
  • Sitting in the park at Bab Rouah / Avenue de la Victoire (Rabat), at night time.
  • Sitting in the roof of my house, by night, besides the door.
  • Listening to the music aired on the radio (LUXE Radio, Rabat Chaine Inter), in a mundful-like state.
  • Writing down thoughts clear headed.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

About my Internet addiction

The story

The start of my day, as opposite of the other days, was good. I did rest, drank my coffee and watched a movie over the TV. Then, I did turn on my computer and checked my favorite websites over the Internet (4chan, reddit, facebook).

Those websites are fun, informative, but very addictive and time consuming. For the sake of reading one reddit post or one thread over 4chan boards, I end up with 20 different tabs open and 4 hours of precious time wasted.

The Internet itself isn't bad, but how we use it, and how mindful we are when we use it, are the cause of negative consequences like addiction. I now know the problem, thus, I should work for helping myself out.

How's my day:

After mindlessly surfing over the Internet, I did manage to ride on my bike and go out. To be honest, I was very anxious at the beginning. It might have a link with the fact that I did spent to much time over the Internet, thus, making mayself more stressed and overwhelmed.

Tomorrow, I'll surf the Internet, but just for checking out my emails and stuff. I'll cut back the time consuming websites, and see how my overall emotional health and common sense will be.

NoFap: Day 1


Fail blog

I am not happy right now. I got a call from "girlfriend"; she came to me asking for a mutual project, that I jocked about, but in the wrong timing. She's kinda ignoring my calls and texts, and I think she'll use it as an excuse to stop talking to me after.

My words weren't harmful, but I was pathetic and immature, that's what's caused her to end the call and give me the cold shower. May I say that I relapsed on the NoFap challenge, but I shall not loathe myself for it, though, I think it might have a link with me being obnoxious at the moment. I should stop myself, from sabotaging myself.

How's my day?

Not much to talk about. I'm not in the mood to continue writing, right now. Maybe tomorrow..

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The NoFap journey

1 NoFap

This is my first logged day of NoFap. I hope it'll give my decision a solid background, and will monitor my self discipline.

It wasn't that hard for the first day, but for someone who had made masturbation a habit, it's quite annoying to not choke the monkey when you feel like it.

I was quite aroused when I ded see thick curvy women over the Internet. I was aroudsed only bu thick women, because I think it's the right form and size for a healthy and sexually appealing woman (My "girlfriend" is/was think).

I think I'll be fine for the second day of the challenge, though I'm not sure, because I'm assuming according to my current emotional state.

The feel:

I am more aware than yesterday, because I did took a brake from the internet later in the evening, and I'm much more clear header than yesterday. Yes, much more clear header, but not satisfied nor happy, because I'm still in a sedentary lifestyle right now, not much social interaction.

So called excuses:

Instead of unplugging from the Internet earlier, all I did was mindlessly surfing, hoping that my smartphone order (Samsung Trend Lite), over Jumia, was confirmed. All my day was wasted, for this one simple "trojan" of a task. I should have made it clear with my self: It's now or never.

How's my day?

It was pretty much boring and unproductive. May I say, I made it boring and unproductive, because of mu lack of mindfulness and self-discipline.

I called my "girlfriend", talked to her, but I wasn't emotionnally prepared. I'm never ready, that's it. I have to make sure from now on to be always ready, because you know what's going to happen, the next moment you go out and take a break.

I am a young man, I should and will behave like a young man.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Starting entry, for the luck, for the life choices

The feels:

I am generally, not satisfied with and about my self. I am not happy in this particular time, feeling kind of "meh". I want to do everything, explore, try, experience, live, but I do nothing. I feel like a failure. I am anxious, I can't focus much, have a poor self discipline, even though I look like I know what to do.

So called excuses:

I feel lost, because my emotional life is falling a part. My "girlfriend" has made it clear, that she's needing some space and some time for herself, and I agree with her. The thing is, I'm not emotionnaly mature for her, nor for my age. I'm not street smart, lacking of common sense, and don't judge properly. I can write a lot of things about my actual self, but I choose so stop, in order to write and keep track of my whole day-to-day self, not just the emotional side.

How's my day?

My day had sucked ! I didn't do anything to be acclaimed for, except starting this journal, wich I hope will keep me company, and give me insight about my life.